Rejected Comic-Con panels about the San Francisco Giants
PARODY PARODY PARODY
This weekend, I’ll be recording a live episode of my Star Trek podcast, Trek Marry Kill, at San Diego Comic-Con as part of the official convention (come say hi!*), but it wasn’t the only panel I submitted for consideration. I figured that since sports fans are as fanatical as comic book and pop culture fans that it’d be okay to sprinkle a little sports into the mix, and there are plenty of weirdos out there like me who dances between these worlds with ease; but folks, would it surprise you to learn that none of my San Francisco Giants panels were accepted? So, for your reading pleasure, here are San Francisco Giants-themed panels rejected by Comic-Con.
Willie Mays: The World’s First Superhero
It’s been said that Major League Baseball’s All-Star Game was invented solely for the great Willie Mays, and when you look at all of his highlights he seems as close to human beings have come to seeing Superman in real life. He was so famous that they even made a comic book of the story of his life! Baseball blogger Bryan Murphy from SB Nation’s McCovey Chronicles is joined by Superman director James Gunn and baseball legend Barry Bonds to discuss his legacy.
What if it’s all a simulation? Yes, even that.
The 2026 San Francisco Giants will go down as one of the worst teams in franchise history and has an outside shot of having one of the worst seasons in professional sports due to a combination of on-field incompetence and off-field statements, but is this misery they seem keen to inflict on a quasi-captive audience (their devoted fans) evidence of Simulation Theory? Is this season proof that Giants fans live in The Matrix or have stumbled into The Amazing Digital Circus? Come test the bounds of reality with baseball blogger Bryan Murphy from SB Nation’s McCovey Chronicles along with actors Keanu Reeves (The Matrix, Destination Wedding) and Michael McKean (Spinal Tap, the episode of Star Trek: Voyager where he plays a clown that tortures people caught in his simulation).
Posters: The Last Generation
Back in the late 1900s, Bay Area baseball fans could collect two iconic wall posters: THE BASH BROTHERS, featuring disgraced sluggers Mark McGwire & Jose Canseco and PACIFIC SOCK EXCHANGE, featuring the problematic duo of Kevin Mitchell & Will Clark. Baseball blogger Bryan Murphy from SB Nation’s McCovey Chronicles is joined by Giants fan Lars Ulrich (Spinal Tap II: The End Continues) and A’s fan Andy Samberg (Zootopia 2) to decide which was the better poster and why it’s been tough to follow in either’s footsteps.
Baseball Movies That Suck
Whether it’s Robert De Niro stalking a star player or Austin Butler playing a washed up star, the San Francisco Giants have really gotten a raw deal when it comes to on-screen portrayals, despite being one of the winningest franchises in pro sports and home to legends like Willie Mays, Barry Bonds, and Buster Posey. Is that because Hollywood is run by Dodgers fans or is it because they’re a franchise that’s inherently un-cinematic?Baseball blogger Bryan Murphy from SB Nation’s McCovey Chronicles is joined by New York Times film critic Manohla Dargisto dissect and analyze this troubling issue.
Captain Sisko’s All-Star Team
Back in 1998, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine produced the episode “Take Me Out to the Holosuite,” where Captain Sisko put together a crew of Niners to take on some surly Vulcans in a baseball game on the holosuite and, thanks to the fandom of episode writer Ronald D. Moore, wore a San Francisco Giants hat.
If Captain Sisko could’ve used holographic players from 2026, who would he have chosen? Baseball blogger Bryan Murphy from SB Nation’s McCovey Chronicles is joined by ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith to discuss and decide.
So, your favorite franchise has been run into the ground. Now what?
If there’s one thing Star Wars fans and baseball fans have in common, it’s complaining about the consequences of their favorite franchise’s poor leadership. By simply swapping out some proper nouns, Solo: A Star Wars Story can be easily compared to doing what the San Francisco Giants did this winter in hiring a college coach with no major league experience to manage their world-famous team into the ground(?). Baseball blogger Bryan Murphy from SB Nation’s McCovey Chronicles hosts a panel featuring Alex and Mollie Damon from YouTube’s Star Wars Explained, Mike Trout of MLB’s Los Angeles Angels, Kevin Feige of Marvel Studios, and Steve Kerr of the Golden State Warriors.
Now, I’m sure these were all rejected for not being in tune with Comic-Con International’s goals, but I’m sure there’s a Padres component to this. Petco Park is right around the corner from the convention center. They’re a very big deal, and the Giants are a rival. Maybe I could’ve tightened up some of the descriptions or under-promised the Q ratings of the various panelists, but there you have it. What could have been, for comics and sports geeks alike.
*-Oh, to be clear: the Trek Marry Kill panel is the only real part of this parody post.
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